Before I graduated last year I felt like I was ready to take on the world. I was so looking forward to being miss nonprofit lady and riding my bike to work everyday, shopping at farmer's markets and generally doing my part to make the world a better place. After I graduated I felt tired and overwhelmed. I took a break by moving out to the country and chillaxing for the summer. I finally felt ready to get back at it and applied for some jobs.
The first interview I went to was for a generic environmental group here in Santa Cruz and well we didn't quite see eye to eye on why blaming ocean pollution on "Hispanics" was not and effective way to fight the trash island.
Job interview two, a phone interview, went really well and everything was going great until I realized that I love my country life and this is not going to work out because she didn't understand I have serious time commitments that I cannot miss or ask a friend to do-my goat needs to be milked everyday at 7am and pm.
I always imagined that I was going to be the next Julia Butterfly or Van Jones bridging the issues of environmentalism and communities of color together to build holistic meaningful solutions. But now I feel that my place is here in the woods. I feel a little guilty about this because I read the news of all the horrible things going on in the world and I still try to spread the gospel of social justice but using a toilet now just doesn't feel right. Rising and setting with the sun feels right, drinking fresh goats milk everyday and shearing my sheep and making my own chicken stock from my chickens feels right and I want to share this feeling with other people. I really believe that the system we live in cant be fixed because its based on oppression and continuous growth and all the other shit like racism and sexism that are caught up in it. I wanted to spread the word and inspire people that another world is possible but I never had any alternatives. I used to feel like this was just a hobby but now I feel like this is what I want the world to look like. Relatively small communities producing their own goods and doing light trading.
I don't expect everyone to return to an agrarian life but think about what you would do if tomorrow the world was justified? What is there still left to do? I don't intend to make this sound preachy, I have just had this on my mind for the last few months and am curios what other people think about this. If we didn't have to work for social justice, what would we work for?
love of all kinds
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I don't have answers, but your post reminds me a lot of a previous conversation with a friend.
ReplyDeleteBeing active in the Asian American community, my friend was told by her floormate that the "point of the Asian American movement was that there would no longer need to be a movement." What are communities of color working towards then? Is there a definable end we are trying to achieve?
Thanks for this entry, Mali. =]
Thanks Mali!
ReplyDeleteI met this one womyn from North Carolina this summer who moved to Santa Cruz to live in an "eco-village," and she told me how she sheared her own sheep. Is that the same as where you are?
Well anyway, after talking to her about yurts, composting, and the pacific gyre, I almost wanted to join her after I graduate and go live in a yurt too. The idea didn't seem crazy anymore, haha. But then I thought about my family, and how we still use a lot of stuff like plastic wrap, plastic bags, and barely recycling properly...and so maybe it's just not the time for me to up and out just yet, and instead trying to change their views that getting a plastic bag from a retail store doesn't mean climbing up the socio-economic ladder anymore.
So I guess if we didn't have to work towards social justice anymore, I'd work towards love :)
Malis this post was mad deep son lol. It reminds me of something we were discussing in Afro class about the attempt to redress injustice, namely slavery. It came up that there really never will be a sound way to adequately redress those issues given their severity and so the question arose, if you know there is know way to rectify it why continue to fight? I personally think that the answer lies in the symbolism that giving your self over to social justice embodies. Being in a protest, signing a petition, or speaking out in a public forum may not actually MEAN or DO anything, but by lending your physical being to the cause you stand as a metaphor for the effects of injustice and those willing to combat it. Im really glad you shared your thoughts with us. I think they give us all something very important to evaluate our own lives with, to see what commitments we have made and whether we are really dedicated to something and for what reasons.
ReplyDeleteSo your living in the woods now. One question though.... Can we at least come VISIT you on the farm? lol I mean Id personally be interested in milking a goat.
p.s. how and where are you getting internet? lol
lol @sasha.
ReplyDeletevery compelling thoughts, sisters.
i shall marinate them.