Hello lovers, romantics, and dreamers,
Lately... well, whenever I have time to think to myself, I've been thinking a lot about love. I don't really care about what the meaning of love really is. I just want to resistance the meanings that I've learned through the media and consumerism. There so many different forms of love out there, but we tend to think that it can only be manifested between a man and a woman. I'm so caught up in the idea of needing a partner to make me happy and whole, I take myself for granted and don't realize that I should love myself for being able to be happy, well, and healthy without anyone. And for the past year, that has been my journey: alone. Most days, being alone is amazing. I can do my own thing without having to prioritize anyone else but myself. See, the problem with THAT is... I don't actually prioritize myself. I go to classes, meetings, and rehearsal to please everyone and to be accountable to everyone. This usually results in lack of recognition for my efforts. I'm spread so thin that the world doesn't even realize that I'm working so hard to be in many places at once. I'm surrounded by so many people, yet I am ALONE. And I don't actually feel alone until I'm sitting by myself at the end of the day, wondering why I have no one.
... to be continued. Because I have yet to understand revolutionary love, but I am in the process of it.
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first, let me say that you are not alone. know that i love you more than you know. second, i question whether it is being spread so thin that results in people not recognizing your efforts. maybe people DO recognize your commitment to so many things, but perhaps it is your being spread so thin that causes you not to connect with people... therefore leaving you unknowing of their appreciation.
ReplyDeletethese are all just thoughts, as i have thought countless times over this same topic and have yet to figure it all out. this has been one of the biggest challenges of my life, figuring out why i feel so alone, so i really appreciate this post!