Without Passion...

“Passion, it lies in all of us, sleeping... waiting... and though unwanted... unbidden... it will stir... open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us... guides us... passion rules us all, and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love... the clarity of hatred... and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion maybe we'd know some kind of peace... but we would be hollow... Empty rooms shuttered and dank. Without passion we'd be truly dead.”

What does "No" mean?

(Disclaimer: I'm gonna use guy and girl because that was my experience, but you can fill in with whatever sex or gender you choose)

Guy asks: Can I cuddle with you / kiss you / touch you / etc.?

Girl says: No

[Guy makes move or asks again.] (WTF?)

When a girl says "No," what does that mean?

A) Not now, but please try again later.

B) I'm playing hard-to-get.

C) I want you to work for it and show me how much you want it.

D) Yes.

E) No.

When I say no, I mean no. If I meant yes, I would have said yes. If I meant maybe later, I would have said later.

Someone at a workshop once said that "when a guy says no, it means no, but when a girl says no, it is up for negotiation." The sad thing is that's true.Why is that?

Guys' Perspective (I've been talking to some guys about their opinion on making a move or asking again even after the girl says no)

• They think girls are playing hard-to-get and will only say no to not look too easy.
• They have been socialized to be persistent or else they think they won't get any girls if they're not

Girls' Perspective (or at least my perspective)

• "No" means no.
• "Yes" or action move means yes.
• When someone misinterprets the word, "no," to mean yes, I feel disrespected...like you didn't hear what I just CLEARLY articulated for you. You asked me a question and I answered. It might not be the answer you want, but it IS the answer.

Any thoughts on this scenario?

The Art of Perseverance

Quotes:

"If at first you don't succeed, you're running about average." M.H. Alderson

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan, 'press on' has solved, and always will solve, the problems of the human race."
Calvin Coolidge

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." Winston Churchill

"If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying. "Here comes number seventy-one!" Richard M. Devos

"For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again." [Proverbs 24:16] Bible

". . . The race is not [always] to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. . ." [Ecclesiastes 9:11] Bible

"It is a shameful thing for the soul to faint while the body still perseveres."
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus

"One of the commonest mistakes and one of the costliest is thinking that success is due to some genius, some magic - something or other which we do not possess. Success is generally due to holding on, and failure to letting go. You decide to learn a language, study music, take a course of reading, train yourself physically. Will it be success or failure? It depends upon how much pluck and perseverance that word "decide" contains. The decision that nothing can overrule, the grip that nothing can detach will bring success. Remember the Chinese proverb, "With time and patience, the mulberry leaf becomes satin." Maltbie Davenport Babcock

"Pay as little attention to discouragement as possible. Plough ahead as a steamer does, rough or smooth - rain or shine. To carry your cargo and make your port is the point. "
Maltbie Davenport Babcock

"A man of sense is never discouraged by difficulties; he redoubles his industry and his diligence, he perseveres, and infallibly prevails at last." Lord Chesterfield

"Before success comes in any man's life he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat and, perhaps, some failures. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do."Napoleon Hill

"No man is ever whipped, until he quits -- in his own mind." Napoleon Hill

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another." Walter Elliott

Has anyone else clicked on "next blog" after reading ours?

All the supposedly "related" blogs are about motherhood and shit. I hope blogger's algorythm doesn't equate womyn with mother. Things that make you go hmmmmmm?

I was doing an interview once and the guy said, you must be psyched by all this Slumdog Millionaire stuff. And I was like, umm… Yeah! I am! I have no idea why, though, as I had NOTHING to do with that movie! It’s just that some people who kinda look like me are in it, and everyone loved it and it won some Oscars and stuff. And then I was like, whoa whoa whoa – are white people just psyched ALL THE TIME? It’s like, Back to the Future – that’s us! Godfather – that’s us! Jaws – that’s us! Every fucking movie BUT Slumdog Millionaire and Boyz n the Hood is us!”

—	Aziz Ansari (via morebusinessjuiceplease)

vagina {m}aganda logs

i read this during maganda's open mic: "i love you... not"
it's a satirical tribute to vagina monologues.
no offense to everyone who is a vagina warrior.

Note: I am in fem sex. I am 1 out of 2 asian womyn. In a class of 20.

my vagina is not white
my vagina does live in a
3 story house w/ 5 mercedes benz/ a swimming pool/ jacuzzi/ and RV trailer
w/in a gated community.

my vagina was born and raised in
gov't assisted diapers
hand me down underwears
and discounted feminine pads

my vagina excrete juices
w/ the after taste of vietnamese dinner
pho/ bun bo hue/ spring rolls and fish sauce
not... pineapple juice

my vagina does not thrust to
hannah montana
carrie underwood
or kelley clarkson

it dances to soulful beats of
USHER
trey songz
and beyonce

my vagina is not a "cunt"
it is not something i need to
chant over and over again to feel empowered.

my vagina does not receive top notch private health care
it visits
the free clinic
planned parenthood
and because the university makes me.. I go to tang center.

my vagina does not need to be put on a pedastole
to be looked at
admired
and be replicated through
playdoh
construction paper
or acrylic paint

my vagina represents my mother
being able to escape across the mekong river
rejecting Thai pirates from violating HER vagina
resettling here in America
able to conceive me so that i am here today
vagina
in tact.

my vagina is not a product
of a first wave, white privileged feminism

it is a product of a third world struggle
perseverance and fight

it does not FUCK
white heterosexual penis
it makes love to a beautiful pilipina woman

my vagina is not white
it is not a pretty sorority girl
dressed in a short ass skirt
bout to tease a horny lil frat boy

my vagina is not white
it does not receive play boy coverage
hidden under a hyperlink labeled " asian fettish"

my vagina is not white.

-hellafly

A poem for finals

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

enough money within her control to move out
and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..

a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to
retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....

a set of screwdriver s, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....

a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her
family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...

a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .

whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...


Maya Angelou